How to Know What’s a "Hell Yes!" (and a "F*** No!")

Why you don’t need a five-year plan, just a way to find your way back to yourself.

Do you ever just get that feeling that you’d like to hole up for the day and just read? Maybe with a fire, or surrounded by some candles. Preferably with a blanket.

I have a sneaking suspicion that when you receive this, I will be assuming that position! This weekend is the fifth annual Your Life Less Ordinary Weekender. It’s something I look forward to with excitement and nervous trepidation each year. It matters to me. It matters to the women who come back year after year.

Jo (my co-collaborator) and I pour our heart and soul into this every year. We come home elated and absolutely shattered!

So. Let’s pour a glass of red and get comfy for this weeks Coaching Café. I think I’ll be ready for a slow, cosy chat with you.

Photo by Kateryna Hliznitsova on Unsplash

One of the things we do at Your Life Less Ordinary is think about our life without anything else in it. We get people to write all their roles and responsibilities on post it notes and symbolically leave them at the front door (literally). It’s a signal that this weekend is just about them.

Yes, I know that life doesn’t work like that. But its’s a lot easier to dream big when you’re not throwing in the:

‘but little Billy needs to get to football on a weekend so I can’t do that’

or

‘but my parter hates curries, so they’d be no point in doing a trip to India, even though I’ve always wanted to…’

or

‘but my teacher always told me I was no good at dance', so even though I’d love to, I can’t…’

When we can leave other people’s expectations, demands and priorities at the door, we get an unfettered chance to explore our own.

When I first started Quiet the Hive, I had no idea how to keep getting new clients, because I would only get people working with me and moving on, right?

Wrong.

The thing with having a relationship with ourselves is that it’s never static. It’s never done. We are continually evolving. We change our minds. And that’s more than okay; it’s the whole point.

(one of the lines from my new Quiet the Hive manifesto actually).

There are some people in my world that I’ve been working with since the beginning. They dip in and out, knowing I’m here for when they’re at another crossroads, need to take some time for themselves, or would benefit from cheerleading, someone in their corner, and a loving boot up the bum.

Also from my manifesto!

So that is to say that it’s okay that we’re aren’t ‘done’. There isn’t a one-and-done thing you can do when it comes to life, because it’s always evolving and so are we. Small and often is the key.

Checking in with yourself for ten minutes a week (with a cuppa, notebook and on a Sunday evening at around 5pm for example - hello Coaching Café!), is going to be far more beneficial than waiting until you’re near exploding point once every other year.

Having a guiding inner compass that you can check in with really is a simple and quick way to guide you. It also helps making choices easier and clearer, because it helps you work out what’s a HELL YES and what’s a FUCK NO.

If you’re ready to go a bit deeper with this kind of reflection, have a peek at The Compass. It’s the online course I’ve created to help you steer your own ship. No hard slog, just simple steps and a dusting of Quiet the Hive magic. Best bit? You get unlimited access, so it’s there for all the crossroads you’ll face along the way.

So, with that said, let’s get to the juicy part of The Coaching Café, The Honey. This is the part where the real work happens, short, punchy coaching style questions and tips to move you forward (and only available to paid subscribers, every week and for less than the cost of one coffee a week!).

It’s time to do one of those tiny check points. And here’s a guide for doing it…

THE HONEY